Our theme this week is, “One hand can’t clap”. That is a Jamaican saying. Just for fun, try to clap with one hand. Our task last week was to think about our past and see what our future looks like. What was our example of love in our homes growing up, what did our first relationship look like and how did our primary female role model mature in life. If you are a woman, that is what your future looks like if changes have not been made or are not made.
Our task this week is to look at our present relationship or if you are not in one, the intention we want to set for our next relationship. I have been married once, never been divorced but I have had 2 distinctly different marriages. The first, started out with a beautiful wedding but that was before life threw us some blows, my husband and I walked into our marriage with the traumas from our childhood and past relationships and when life’s challenges hit, that rocky foundation had us in a bad place. In marriage number 2, our current marriage, he is my Soft Place. My poem Soft Place in my book 51 Revolutions to Me is about where we are now. One verse says, “We decided to learn from the past, but not dwell there”. The biggest thing I had to learn is to be quiet. Not to comment on everything that is not “right” or done the way I would do it. I do a lot of weighing. Is this really worth me saying something about? Because I am a child of trauma, I notice everything, I can read everyone and every situation pretty quickly. I had to learn to relax. When we first started dating, it would drive me crazy that he automatically switched sides with me when there was something that could harm me on the outside of where we were walking. I learned I didn’t have to worry about the traffic or a busy walkway, “he’s got me”. I can sit with my back facing the door, he is looking at the door and at everything going on in the room to keep me safe.
Having an alpha female move into her divine feminine depends on us trusting you. Remember we don’t have control issues, we have trust issues. It not only has to do with us trusting you with our physical safety, but our emotional safety. Trusting your word, if you say you want to be in a relationship with only me, make your words match your actions. If you want me to give you my heart, treat it kindly. There are more than enough women out there who want to date multiple people. If you are not ready to be committed to one person, be with one of them. Make your words match your actions. If you say, “Babe, I’ll take the garbage out”. We shouldn’t have to remind you. We can’t trust and not think about it if you don’t take care of it. If we can’t trust you with small things, we won’t trust you with big things. We move back into alpha and grudgingly do things ourselves. We shift easier into what we have seen and what we know and every time we shift, it will take double or triple the time to shift out, the more it happens, the longer it takes for us to shift out, until we stop shifting out and double down on being an Alpha.
Ladies, you are worthy of real love and for your heart to be handled with care. Stop being abused and having one sided commitments.
Our assignment for this week is to think about 2 things, Number 1 If nothing changes, am I willing to live this way the rest of my life this way Number 2, is my partner willing to work together to make changes? Yes, you have to own your part in creating a healthy and happy relationship but remember, it takes 2 hands to clap. “One hand can’t clap”.
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