In 1965, The Supremes, whose lead singer was Diana Ross released a song, “Stop in the Name of Love”. The woman was pleading with her partner, who was cheating on her to remember their love. I have seen some of the most amazing women have the Light and joy stifled out of them, “In the name of love”. Real love makes you better, not worst. It supports your evolution into the best version of yourself, not one person’s version that they are comfortable with you being. Stop, In the name of love of yourself.
Last week, our assignment was to think about 2 things, If nothing changes in my relationship, am I willing to live this way the rest of my life and if there are issues, is my partner willing to work together to make changes?
Both of those questions really have to do with one thing, how do I deserve to be treated. What are your non negotiables, where according to Dr. Maya Angelou you say, “You will go this far, and NO further.”
How do we create safe spaces for our girls and young ladies to express their thoughts and feelings and say “no”. Help them to find their voices at home so that when they go out in the world they know that their thoughts and feelings count.
When the girls were young, in our private spaces, we allowed them to tell us anything. Sometimes it was hard to hear but it allowed them to have that foundational safe space with people who love them.
It doesn’t start when they are 18. We can’t expect them to be confident in the world if they are not confident at home. It is beyond being honored for our outside appearance or achievements. It is about feeling listened to and honored from the inside. That is how we need to send them out into the world.
To me, one of the most important jobs in this world is running a household. Let’s say for argument’s sake that you are a stay at home mom with children. Most of the time, you have primary responsibility for creating the environment where they can thrive and become their best selves. If you can be trusted with that essential job, why can’t you have a say in all major decisions in the household.
Let’s say again for argument’s sake that you work outside the home, whether you are an entrepreneur or you work for someone else. You are responsible every day for making important decisions outside the home but inside the home, your partner’s opinion outweighs yours. You shouldn’t have to dumb myself down.
Submission is about both partners showing each other respect and courtesy. The Bible has both of us submitting to each other.
What if my Dad was really good with cars. He taught me everything about cars. Something is wrong with the car and I take it in. We might not have to discuss the work that has to be done, but we would still have to discuss the cost, our budget, where the funds will come from to do the work. The timing of when the work will be done. Do we have it done with this mechanic or do we take it somewhere else. We are in a artnership. Love is an intense, deep, affection for each other.
Stop, in the name of love of yourself!!!
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