Take Off The Mask

One of the barriers to happiness and success is not acknowledging or dealing with hurt. We have to stop pretending that everything is ok when it isn't. That's what we see playing out in our streets, our workplaces and our homes. Some of us have really been hurt by others and we have to acknowledge it in order to be able to move forward and be our best. Let's take work for example. A majority of us were raised not to talk about politics or religion at work. The third elephant in the room that we are not to discuss is race. If you think about the last couple of years, all of those collided but in some settings we pretend they don't exist. If we spend most of our waking hours at work and the things that are impacting us most profoundly we pretend are not going on, how does it manifest? It manifests in our treatment of and reaction to each other. Companies are scrambling putting programs together for inclusion and diversity but this is not a surface problem. We have "work personas", a version of ourselves that we think others prefer and will lead to our success. In many societies, these personas were and are a survival and coping mechanisms. I propose that this alternate version of ourselves inhibits the growth of the individual and others. When we don't express ourselves, we also don't share our thoughts and ideas. We need to take off our masks by acknowledging hurt that has happened and when it occurs. I say gradually because to take it off fully and express all the hurt from the past at once will cause shock on both sides. Trust has to be developed on both sides in order for you to feel comfortable expressing yourself and for the person that you are speaking to to be able to hear what you're saying. I have decided not express myself in anger because the hearer will concentrate more on how I am expressing myself as opposed to what I am saying. I am going to take my mask off so that we can start have real dialogue, deal with some of the hurt from the past and for a more authentic relationship in the future. Will you join me?